From Breakdown to 5K (Part 1)
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in 1
Samuel. The story involves a battle
that was won and a monument built as a reminder. I don’t know about you but I often need
reminders of God’s faithfulness. I tend to forget the many times God brought me
through dark times and places. I forget
how He is true to His Word when He says He will never forsake us. Let me take a moment and shout from the
“proverbial” mountain top. THIS IS TRUE.
Details will follow at another time, but one of the
darkest times of my life began on November 3, 2016 and lasted longer than I
approved. It is almost difficult to
admit and type these words, but on that date, I began suffering what I know to
be a mental breakdown. I went to bed at
noon on November 3rd and didn’t move for 30 hours. When I finally did arise, it was only for a
short time. Several weeks staying in bed followed and I saw no end to the pain
and depression. My only mental view was
a dark hole where happiness seemed non-existent. The emotional pain was like
nothing I have experienced and my cries out to God seemed to be unheard. I plan to share details about this at another
time, but today I am about looking ahead and not back.
Today is about me sharing how I plan to place my
“Ebenezer Stone” and declaring the goodness of God.
Let me explain.
I often look back at that time and can’t believe how
difficult it was. It took some time
before I even wanted to talk about it.
That changed when I began to share pieces of my story with others and they
began to see hope for their mental struggle. I knew that God was nudging me to share more
and to be vulnerable and authentic. Just
a tip…God always gets His way…and it is always good.
I wanted to celebrate this victory over darkness in a way
that would only bring Him glory. So here
is what I will be doing on November 12th (Lord and body willing)
So why a race? I
have asked myself that very question since August. The race was originally going to be a time
for us to do something fun as a family.
In the middle of my training, God reminded me of the importance of the
date. One year ago, from the day of the
race, I was not moving at all, let alone running. My shades were drawn and my
only view was the dark hole and my bedroom ceiling.
My view on the 12th will be polar
opposite which is what I desire from now on.
To be out of bed a year later is an accomplishment but I wanted it to be
more than my original life. I wanted it
to be more and different. The race is
exactly what I want as a representation of where He has me now. I want to always be stretching myself and
never being satisfied with whom I was but who He wants me to be. I want to always finish the race that He has
before me.
So…Lord willing I will finish the 5K but either way…I
will celebrate His goodness.
I ask for your prayers as I hopefully bring Him glory and
inspire others struggling with mental illness.
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