Breakdown to 5K - Part 4 - The BEST Part of the Story!

When watching a movie or reading a good book, we all want a happy ending.  We want to see the guy get his girl, the heroine save the world and the lonely heart find true love.  In the midst of my breakdown I was desperately praying for a happy ending.  I wanted to be "well" again.  Notice that I didn't say "happy"? Even in the midst of dark days, I knew that a life of complete happiness was not possible or even promised.  What I craved and wanted was a life that knew when emotions wavered, the peace of God could prevail. With all humility and profound praise I can share that I received my happy ending and give God ALL the glory.

I can look back at the time and now see the purpose for the pain. I can see God's hand throughout the dark days and can even say "thank you" for the refiners fire. I now know what it means to experience God in an intimate and personal way. I now know how it feels to allow friends and family to "carry you" and love beyond measure. I now know what it feels like to have a void shaped liked God and the foolishness of trying to numb the pain.

I now know what it feels like to trust and obey.  It feels freeing!

My idol has been shattered and replaced with eternal things from God and His desires for me.  Do I still struggle with depression and anxiety? At times I feel like it is trying to rear it's ugly head but with God's grace and strength I have a plan of attack.

I hope to share this plan and the tools in my arsenal on this blog at a later time.  Today is about saying two things:

1)  Nothing is impossible with God!!!
2)  Trust and obey...there really is no other way.

The day before the 5K I needed to know that God was "in" this race and sharing my story was from Him.  I prayed that He would reveal Himself to me with my bib number. Sounds silly but I needed to hear from Him in a way that was personal and only I would understand.

HE did...


My bib number was 123.  Tears welled up when I realized the significance.  My healing process came as I stepped out on faith and took it one step a a time.

I took step 1, then step 2 and then step 3.

I am not sure what steps  4 through gazillion will look like, but I do know that I will prayerfully obey and follow.

God has made it clear that a huge part of my future ministry will be walking alongside those that are struggling with anxiety and depression.  If this is you, let's do this together one step at a time.

Are you ready?

From Breakdown to 5K Part 3 - An Idol in the Breaking

An idol can be a costly thing.  It can cost you financially, personally, emotionally and spiritually.  What is an idol? I found the following definition on the internet:

    an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship.

  a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered.

Here is my definition:

-       Anything that separates Joy from God!  Anything that gives Joy what she should only be seeking from God.

An idol isn’t always tangible like a car, expensive items or a home.  I feel that the most dangerous idols are those that you cannot see like a profession, a relationship, ambition, or even ministry.

Whenever I share my story, I am sometimes asked what I feel triggered my breakdown.  Let me first say that from my personal experience, depression and anxiety can be triggered or brought on by various things. (life experiences, traumas, chemical imbalances , etc)   I am not a clinician or doctor and can only speak from what I know.  My response when asked is the following:  

 I HAD AN IDOL in my life.

Let me begin by saying that details of the idol are not important and I have chosen not to share in great detail on this blog for several reasons.  First being I don’t want to create confusion.  What I feel was my idol is something that many of us have in our lives and it is usually not a destructive thing.  I also want to be sensitive to others and not hurt anyone in the process. Lastly, the "what" isn’t as important as you may think, what is important is the restoration process and giving God  ALL the glory.  I will say that nothing about my idol was immoral, unethical, illegal or inappropriate.

Six months before my world went out of control, I heard a gentle whisper from God reminding me that I was treading on dangerous ground spiritually.  This wasn’t new to me.  I began to see a change in myself and a restlessness that was unsettling.  I excused the feeling away and convinced myself that I was doing ok and that it was handled. The sweet gentle voice continued to remind me and I soon stopped listening.  We often think that our ways are best.  How stupid of me. Who can argue with God and believe they know better. 

I begin recognizing subtle reminders from family and friends that I had changed and not in a good way.  People that have the right to speak truth into me were honest and I tuned them out as well.  Pride got in the way and I acknowledged their care and stayed on this dangerous path.  Let me stop and say something that I shared in part 1….God always gets His way.

Miserable months went by and I began to finally realize something had to change .  Something needed to be different but I wasn’t sure the what or the how.  I did what I would recommend everyone do when they are feeling this way. Spend time in prayer and seek the counsel of others.  Their honest critique and loving counsel opened my eyes to what I already knew.

I knew what is wrong in my life….I had an IDOL.

There was no longer any doubt.  I had something that was giving me everything that only God could give me.

I knew what I had to do.  I had to “lay it down.”  It was time to stop the charade of pretending that I had it all figured it out and that I could maintain a healthy spiritual life while clinging to a false god.  I vividly remember the evening that I decided to lay it down.  There was finally an inner peace and an emptiness at the same time.  I went to bed that night emotionally exhausted and scared.  The question that was spinning through my mind was “how do I rebuild?”

I would love to be able to write that an instant transformation came over me and I awoke to a new life.  Nope!

What happened was the opposite.  As I wrestled  throughout the night with my thoughts and God I decided that now was maybe not the time.  That with some minor changes, I could compromise and keep the idol in my life and still please God.  Decision was made and I was continuing my ways with small adjustments.

What followed was scary, unexpected and needed….God took it away.  God removed the idol without my approval.  He removed it suddenly. God always gets His way.

As I look back I know that it would have pleased God if I had been spiritually mature enough to remove it myself.  As a parent, it is always rewarding when a child realizes what they did was wrong before we have to step in and give correction and discipline.  I feel it is the same with God but He loves me enough to intervene.  Thank you God!

It reminds me of a time when I was speaking to a drug addict and begging her to allow me to drive her to rehab.  She wanted so much to get clean but didn’t have the inner strength to take the first step.  I will never forget when she told me she was hoping to get arrested so she would be forced to detox in jail.  When she shared that with me, I suddenly understood what she meant.  I didn’t have the strength to do what I needed to do.

The following weeks were challenging.  I didn’t realize how much I gained from what I had laid down.  I prayed for immediate answers from God and often felt He was being silent.  I was frustrated and confused and very uncomfortable.  Pruning times are always painful but necessary.  This was taking a little longer then I wanted and I did what is a never good idea…I disobeyed God. I rationalized my thoughts and picked up my idol again.  For a brief moment, it felt right and normal.  Voids were being filled again and purpose returned.

How sad.  How sad that I thought I knew better than the one that created me.  How sad that I thought my humanness knew better than the divine. In my stubborness God had to do the following to get my attention.

He broke me!

This was November 3, 2016.  The day that I went to bed. (continued)

From Breakdown to 5K (Part 2)

To accurately share my story, I need to turn back about 10 years.  I remember feeling that my emotions were all over the place.  As women, we tend to blame many things on hormones and the dreaded word "menopause."  Doctors have graciously identified three important seasons in a woman's life - "perimenopause", "menopause" and "post menopause".  I have labeled them as follows: hot, hotter and hottest.  Not only do we experience internal temperature changes but a roller coaster of emotions come with each season.  I truly feel that Cedar Point should call their next ride the "Menocoaster".  Only women can ride and pity the fool that tries to cut in line.

I have a vivid memory of sitting around the kitchen table frustrated by a minor incident that caused a voice inside me to say "flee".  I am not sure if this was the Holy Spirit or my  worn out guardian angel but the advice was good and timely.  I was being told to "leave the room before you say something you can't take back."  I was obedient, sent myself to my room and flopped myself down on my bed in tears.  Another thought entered by mind.  Again...I am not sure where it came from but this time it was a name. The name of a lovely woman that I knew from church.  It was strange that her name popped into my head, but my inner whisper had been on point so I didn't argue.  I picked up the phone and dialed the woman's number.  "This is Joy Trachsel from church" I said, "I am not sure why but your name came to mind and I feel like I was supposed to call you."  She asked what was going on and the floodgates opened.  I shared about my emotions, anxiety and occasional depression.  This one-sided conversation lasted for at least 10 minutes as this godly woman listened.  When I finished pouring out my heart and emptying my tears, she said two words that changed everything... "me too".  She said,  "I know why God had you call me...I have been there."  She shared her story, prayed with me and closed our conversation with some very comforting words..."I will walk this journey with you."  Her words were not empty promises, but began a commitment that she has never failed to honor. She shared deep spiritual words and some very practical advice that I followed to a "tee". 

I can't express how great it felt to know that I was not alone.  How about you?  What are you choosing not to  share because you are afraid of what others will say, think or do?

Let me encourage you with a phrase that I share often when I speak:

"Yesterday's pain is tomorrow's ministry"

The years that followed were more manageable and calmer.  They weren't without ups and downs but nothing like November of 2016  (to be continued)

From Breakdown to 5K (Part 1)

From Breakdown to 5K (Part 1)

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in 1 Samuel.   The story involves a battle that was won and a monument built as a reminder.  I don’t know about you but I often need reminders of God’s faithfulness. I tend to forget the many times God brought me through dark times and places.  I forget how He is true to His Word when He says He will never forsake us.  Let me take a moment and shout from the “proverbial” mountain top.  THIS IS TRUE.

Details will follow at another time, but one of the darkest times of my life began on November 3, 2016 and lasted longer than I approved.  It is almost difficult to admit and type these words, but on that date, I began suffering what I know to be a mental breakdown.  I went to bed at noon on November 3^rd and didn’t move for 30 hours.  When I finally did arise, it was only for a short time. Several weeks staying in bed followed and I saw no end to the pain and depression.   My only mental view was a dark hole where happiness seemed non-existent. The emotional pain was like nothing I have experienced and my cries out to God seemed to be unheard.  I plan to share details about this at another time, but today I am about looking ahead and not back.

Today is about me sharing how I plan to place my “Ebenezer Stone” and declaring the goodness of God. 

Let me explain.

I often look back at that time and can’t believe how difficult it was.  It took some time before I even wanted to talk about it.  That changed when I began to share pieces of my story with others and they began to see hope for their mental struggle.   I knew that God was nudging me to share more and to be vulnerable and authentic.  Just a tip…God always gets His way…and it is always good.

I wanted to celebrate this victory over darkness in a way that would only bring Him glory.  So here is what I will be doing on November 12^th (Lord and body willing)

17th Annual 5k Gallop for Children 

So why a race?  I have asked myself that very question since August.  The race was originally going to be a time for us to do something fun as a family.  In the middle of my training, God reminded me of the importance of the date.  One year ago, from the day of the race, I was not moving at all, let alone running. My shades were drawn and my only view was the dark hole and my bedroom ceiling. 

My view on the 12^th will be polar opposite which is what I desire from now on.  To be out of bed a year later is an accomplishment but I wanted it to be more than my original life.  I wanted it to be more and different.  The race is exactly what I want as a representation of where He has me now.  I want to always be stretching myself and never being satisfied with whom I was but who He wants me to be.  I want to always finish the race that He has before me.

So…Lord willing I will finish the 5K but either way…I will celebrate His goodness.

I ask for your prayers as I hopefully bring Him glory and inspire others struggling with mental illness.

The Time Is Now!

Have you ever had God prompt you to do something and you continued to ignore His voice?  If we were honest, we would all say yes.  We can find excuses, justify our busy schedules and find many reasons to tell God no.  We refuse out of fear, doubt and insecurity.  In the past four months, I have heard from God in a very clear way.  I can't explain it away, refuse the calling and say no.  Through a difficult journey, that I will share in time, I truly learned what it means to have intimacy with God.  Let me say this...it is hard, uncomfortable and beautiful.

Over and over again, God has said "the time is now." 

To be continued....

What Happened To My Nest?

My nest is empty!  How can that be?  For the past 30 years, there has been a child or teen in our home.  There has always been a bookbag by the front door, heap of towels in the bathroom and an array of cars in the driveway.

As we approached this new season, I would put up a good front and brag how excited I was to become the proverbial "empty nester".  I relished in the future of being spontaneous and abandoning the phrase" what will the kids do."  The idea of not having to cook every night and looking forward to the occasional dinner of Captain Crunch seemed freeing and cheaper.  I pictured myself rarely doing laundry and always being able to watch "my show".

This fantasy quickly ended the day we unpacked number 4 and assembled our last dorm futon.  I remember pulling away from the campus wishing the newest coed at Case Western would stop growing up.  I realized at that point...this was our new normal.

As the days went by, I felt like I was finding my way and adjusting fairly well...until...we ordered take out.  I almost lost it with the delivery person when it hit me that the order was much smaller than normal. Or the day I went grocery shopping and didn't need the full cart, but one of those cute little baskets was enough. It felt odd not having to navigate the squeaky wheeled cart but walking  the store looking like Dorothy as my basket dangled from my arm.

I began to realize that many, many moms have walked this journey and survived, so I quickly became a student and asked lots of questions.  Their stories were often humorous and at times tearful.  There was a common thread in the midst of the varied responses...they survived and were still smiling.  They didn't fill the void with another child, cats, shoes or cute puppies (that thought crossed my mind). They relied on God.

Number 4 has been gone for almost two months, and I have adjusted to my "new normal".  I haven't joined an empty nest support group, turned into a cat lady or stalked him on snapchat.  What I did do, was pray and ask God to reveal His plan.

To everyone that is about to experience this new season, I offer you the following advice.  Stay away from animal rescue shelters and be encouraged with the following:

1)  Let your self grieve.  It is okay to acknowledge that you are not okay.  Allow yourself to be emotional about your children growing up. We did our jobs by keeping them alive and now it is time for the world to benefit from our hard work.

2)  Take this time to evaluate your marriage.  My husband and I spent time taking an inventory of our marriage and setting goals.  We began to quickly see the benefit of it just being the two of us. In the past six weeks, we have visited a winery, planned a camping trip, tried new restaurants and attended a Browns game.

3)  Make sure you fill the void with appropriate things.  My husband and I both have fulfilling jobs that we enjoy very much.  It would be very easy for us to become workaholics.  We had to set professional boundaries and keep each other accountable.

4)  Ask God how He wants you to use your extra time and resources.  Just because our schedules looked a little more free, it didn't mean that we should say "yes" to everything.  My husband and I saw this new season as a time to redefine our ministry commitments.  We decided to continue to serve as we did before, but to seek an opportunity to intentionally serve together.  For example, my husband has always volunteered in youth ministry with each of our children.  His passion for youth doesn't have to end.

5) We can now be more intentional with each child.  What a blessing it is to visit with  each of our out of town children more often and pour into them alone.  Don't get me started on the grandchildren!

6) Let your children know that you are fine.  I often forgot that as my world began to look different, their world was changing as well.  Just as I needed to know that they were fine, they needed to know that mom and dad were okay as well.

7)  Don't rush into the remodel.  I once heard how upset  a child was when she saw how quickly her parents dismantled her room.  This may vary from family to family, but we have always decided that our children had their room until they officially moved out on their own.

Each day comes with new observations and adjustments and I now welcome this new season.  Change can be hard but change can also be fun.  Embrace each day and praise God for His plan.

That's all for now. It is time to go seek the next adventure and maybe cook dinner.

A Time To Rebuild

Less than 24 hours into our vacation, we received notice that while we were nestled in a cozy cabin in Gatlinburg, our home in Ohio was a mess.  A toilet malfunctioned and water seeped down two stories causing extreme damage. After processing the shock and helplessness, our first reaction was to cut the trip short and head home.  Deeply disappointed and concerned we didn’t think there was any other way to respond.  God had a different plan. Friends, family and our insurance company stepped up and what seemed dire now seemed hopeful.

We put our trust in others and decided to stay. Pictures were sent and reports were filed but neither could give us a complete analysis of what was waiting for us at home.  I began to visualize the impact and dreaded seeing it in person.  God was so faithful and lifted this burden allowing us to have a phenomenal vacation.

As we left our safe mountain sanctuary, I began to allow fear and anxiety to creep into my mind.  Thirty minutes from home, I began to feel physically nauseous as I prepared myself to walk into a home in chaos.  I began to pray and suddenly felt not just His promised peace, but His sweet words. The following phrase began running through my mind…

          It’s good to rebuild…It’s good to rebuild…It’s good to rebuild

It reminded me of what happens when a record is scratched and the same part of the song continues over…and over…and over again.

I knew that God was speaking about more than my home.  As I prayed and had an intimate conversation with my Lord, He revealed that “rebuilding” needed to take place in other areas beyond my physical home.

          I needed to “rebuild” my trust in Him.

          I needed to "rebuild: relationships that were collapsing.

          I needed to “rebuild” my prayer life.

          I needed to rebuild my faith.

He reminded me that when the contractors come into our home, they will have plan.  They won’t just begin sporadically hanging drywall and painting walls…they will have a blueprint, a supply list and helpers.  The same thing that all “rebuilds” need.

As I sit in a home with partial flooring, exposed ceiling beams and a refrigerator that almost sits in my den…I am grateful.  I am grateful for a God that loves me enough to help me through the "rebuilding " moments in  my life.

He's the best Contractor!

Expecting The Unexpected ...And Not Believing In Ghosts

For the past 30 years, ACCESS has operated a transitional home for women.  After many years at this location, we moved to a newer home with more rooms.  After the last boxed was moved, I was the last one to leave the house and bid it farewell.

Two days later, as the keys were being returned, the landlord asked why we had left every window open.  I knew very well that this was not the case and could not understand what had happened after I left.  He went on to say that since we had moved out, the police had responded to two 911 calls from this property.  This situation became increasingly strange since all phones had been removed and lines were disconnected.  Everyone's first response was that the house was haunted. 

As one that does not believe in ghosts, I disagreed but acknowledged that if there was some type of "spirit" involved, it was not coming from a good  place and was not someone who had passed on from this earth. 

Unfortunately, one more visit needed to be made to the house before we considered the move complete.  I offered to accompany someone on one condition.  I wanted to enter the house calling out the name of Jesus.

The next day, we arrived at the house and unlocked the door.  As we entered, in the loudest voice possible, I yelled "Jesus is here."  Suddenly a deep voice replied "Come on in."

I froze in my steps and was speechless.. A few seconds later...a .repair man walked by.  It seems that the deep voice was not from a spirit but the maintenance man that arrived minutes earlier.

We all had a good laugh and appreciated the humor in the situation.

Often we go about our day expecting everything to go according to our agenda and plan but seem surprised when life throws a curve ball and changes everything.


 Scripture reminds us in Proverbs:

The heart of man plans his ways,  but the Lord establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

So...commit everything to Him.  He probably has a better and different plan. and you might be surprised on what awaits you. And one more thing...call out his name when you are planning or entering a scary house. 

Everything I Needed To Know About Being Happy...I Learned From The Homeless

Happy…Happy…Happy!

Everyone wants to be happy.  How often do we begin each day hoping that sadness and problems are on the day’s agenda? We read books, listen to talks and seek other resources looking for the key to happiness...but sometimes the biggest lessons in life come from the most unlikely of places.  Working with homeless women and children has brought me many experiences and life lessons.  I just never believed a lesson in how to be happy would be included. 

When I began working at ACCESS Homeless shelter I believed that I would be the one doing the teaching but often the roles are reversed.  Some days I serve the shelter…some days the shelter serves me.  I see the trials homeless women endure on a day to day basis and often wonder how a smile can still exist on their faces.  After many conversations and endless stories, I have learned their secret.  Here is how the homeless have taught me to be happy.

Happy people live in community – At any given time, approximately 19 women and 20 children live at ACCESS.  No matter their past, their present lives look identical…they are all homeless.  Community forms when a common bond exists and that is true in a homeless shelter.  Over meals and program sessions, you will find each woman sharing resources, referrals and opportunities.  Instead of being in competition, they are in community. 

 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

Happy people are content people- When a resident moves into the shelter, they are limited in what they are allowed to bring.  In other words, they are only allowed to bring what can fit in a black garbage bag.  When I see black bags at the entrance to the shelter, I often evaluate my own life and inventory what would be in my bag.  What would I consider a need or a want?  What would I be able to get by with and what would be unnecessary baggage?

 Not that I speak ^]from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.  I 

know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any 

and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

(Philippians 4:11-13)

Happy people have a unique perspective- I remember a client coming to ACCESS after making a tough choice.  Option one was a life of comfort that accompanied danger while option two was to voluntarily become homeless and free from temptation and addiction. We may look at being homeless as a step backward while others see it as a step forward.

"There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death" (Proverbs 14:12)

Happy people allow circumstances to develop character- Poverty hears the word “NO” a lot.  The “NO” can be an interruption that causes you to quit or an inconvenience that causes you to come up with a new plan.  Facing and overcoming an inconvenience forces us to be resourceful and creative.

 Not only so, but we^a also rejoice in our sufferings,¹ because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.

 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.creative.(Romans 5:3-5)

Happy people don’t let situations define them- Life comes with ups and downs, highs and lows.  It is up to us to decide which one will be our legacy.  Homeless is who they are now, but not who they will be forever.

 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,¹ he is a new creation;² the old has gone, the new has come!

 (2 Corinthians 5:17)

So…would you like to be happy?  You may just find it in an unlikely place.

What Is Your Mess - timony?

I have often heard the expression..."you can't have a Testimony without a TEST!" It is through life's trials and tests that we see God move. We see Him work and we see Him refine us. Oh don't we wish we could just develop the characters of Christ without the problems, issues and crisis?

I was thinking about this the other day and decided that the word "testimony" didn't work for me anymore. I have certainly grown through the things that God has allowed to happen but I also think I have brought on a lot of "stuff" by my own doing. My own bad choices and decisions have sometimes taken me down a rocky road...but God was always there.

He brings the tests and I bring the MESS. Through God's faithfulness He creates a new me. I call that my MESS - timony!

Late for Worship

Let me know if you can relate to the story I am about to share. Last Sunday, as I prepared for church, I had an agenda...a plan...a schedule. I knew exactly what time I needed to be out the door. If I stayed on schedule, I would have time to stop at the church café and grab coffee before worship. Of course worship would come after I met with the youth pastor about making an announcement regarding a missions trip. If the announcement happened at a precise time, I would be able to spend time in the sanctuary before I had to rush off to a drama meeting. I don't know about you but I am excited just typing this.

As I walked upstairs to the sanctuary, I was juggling a purse, mission trip notes, drama folder and of course...coffee. My hands were so full that a sweet lady grabbed a bulletin for me, placed it on top of my file as she opened the door. I found my seat and almost laughed as I attempted to organize my "stuff" on the chair beside me. The congregation was already singing as I foolishly rustled papers, folders and coffee...oh my.


Finally, half way through the second verse...I began to sing.

Can you relate or am I the only crazy lady at church?

I sat there and it hit me...too many things hindered my worship that day. They weren't necessarily bad things. I love being involved in ministry and serving in the church. In fact, I think we should all find a way to serve the local congregation. We just need to find balance and not let it get in the way of our personal worship. We can only give to others what we have experienced ourselves. Our ministry is an overflow of our worship. You can't serve from a dry well.

What is hindering you today?

I invite you to attend an event for women on this very topic.

Sign up here:



http://northamptonbiblechurch.org/#/ministries/womens-ministries



Take time to invest in your relationship with Christ by attending this one day event.

I would love to see you. Let's take this journey together!

Stop The Madness...Start The Worship

Some days I serve the shelter...other days the shelter serves me. You see part of my job is organizing Christmas for the clients. It is fun to see how generous our donors are and how excited the children become as the big day nears. It can also be draining when I see tons of presents that need to be bought, wrapped and returned. My mind then goes to the elves that need to be organized for Christmas morning, the shelter meals that need to be planned and much, much more.

In December, as I ran around frantically searching for missing presents and stressing that we had overlooked a family, I suddenly heard three words that stopped me in my tracks:

"Stop Momma...look!"

One of the 25 children that currently lived at the shelter was asking his mom to stop and see what he had done. His voice was loud enough for me to hear through a closed door. That told me that she was not "in the moment" and needed a louder reminder. This caused me to stop and realize that this is what God was saying to me.

"Stop Joy...look!"

Look and see what I have done! - God
Look and see that I have been born! - God
Look and see what this season is about! - God

Just like that mom, God had to remind me that I needed to stop. I needed to stop the madness of preparations and start the Worship!

How about you? Did the preparations get the best of you? If so...would you do something today? Sit down with your children and ask them what their favorite Christmas memory. I did and I was surprised with the answers.

It wasn't a gift.

It wasn't the homemade cookies.

It wasn't the picture perfect, Norman Rockwell Christmas card.

It wasn't the meal.

It was the moments.


Take a moment and STOP...and look! You may be surprised in what you have been missing.

A Sheriff, a Sandwich and a Saviour...oh my!

Three months ago we began to plan a trip to Kentucky. Ten schedules synchronized and a visit to Asbury College finally took place last weekend. I was excited to spend time with family, love on baby Emma and enjoy the fall break for our college age children. As I was packing the car, I did not anticipate the hiccups that lay ahead. Let me explain.


1) The Cleveland gang (Wally, Alex and I) had a late start. Our journey didn't begin until 8:30 pm with 5 and 1/2 hours of driving ahead of us.
2) During the drive, we were attempting to meet a deadline and inadvertently paid tuition money to the wrong college.
3) We suddenly realized that the hotel I had booked added an additional hour to our trip and wasn't close to Austin's college.


Hmmm....suddenly realized that this trip was either not supposed to happen or someone did not want this trip to happen. (I will let you decide after further reading)



We finally arrived at the hotel and threw ourselves on the bed at 2:45 am. Our exhausted spirits allowed for us to overlook the tattered carpet, smoky smell and other unappealing characteristics. Morning came and we excitedly went down for breakfast to greet family and squeeze sweet Emma. You can imagine the look on our faces when instead we saw a sheriff, coroner and crime investigators. When is the last time you met a medical examiner at breakfast? We were informed that someone died in the room next door. Excuse me while I step out of a law and order episode and back to reality. It seemed that a gentleman had overdosed on drugs and his grieving family was mourning him at the hotel. We debated about switching hotels and pushing rewind on this trip. Due to several major events in the area, rooms were scarce, so we decided to stay. The hotel was gracious and upgraded our room and discounted the price.


Pulling ourselves together we headed into town and enjoyed a crisp fall day on this beautiful campus. Things were looking up and stumbling upon a quaint restaurant for lunch was a mood lifter for us all. You know you are in a seminary town when lunch is at "Solomon's Porch" and all of the menu items are theologically named. I had the "Circuit Rider" while others enjoyed the "Calvinist", "Garden of Eden" and the "C.S Lewis"


Fast forward to the best part of the trip.



Every obstacle, late night drive, expense, odor, lack of sleep, crisis was worth it. Every emotion, doubt and fear was Satan's way of trying to stop the finale.


What began as a trip with hiccups and diversions ended as an opportunity to share the Gospel. What began as a trip that seemed destined for failure ended as a trip with a clear purpose.



As a family, we met Sunday morning for breakfast and planned to visit a local church. We discussed our shower schedule and I chose to be last. One by one our group went upstairs and I was left alone finishing my coffee and still processing the visit. I began engaging the hotel clerk in trivial conversation and flippantly commented that it was a shame he would have to work and could not attend church. He replied, "that's okay...I worship on Fridays." Our conversation continued and he explained his religion and I shared mine. His faith was in someone different...mine was in Jesus. We took turns asking questions and a very pleasant and loving dialogue continued. I began to realize that as each moment ticked away, I was suddenly shortening my time to pack and prepare for church. I soon realized that I was cutting it so close that I was looking at a one hour church service and a long car ride unshowered. I didn't care. I was not about to pass an opportunity to speak truth into this precious life.


We talked about heaven and mercy. We talked about the cross and forgiveness. We talked a lot about peace. The demands of his job became a distraction and time was not on my side. We shook hands and exchanged emails and agreed that this conversation would not end. As I walked away he said something that I will never forget. He said....thanks. He explained that his religion prepares them for conversations with nonbelievers and trained them to walk away and not engage in arguing and defamation of their faith. He thanked me for being kind and not debating.


Oh What a GREAT God we serve. This gentleman didn't need to be hit over the head with spiritual laws and was not asking for a trip down the Romans Road. He responded to love.

I want to shout from the rooftop "THANK YOU JESUS"!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for allowing an unshowered, sleep deprived, whiner be your voice


I now knew why we faced such obstacles on this trip.


Please pray for my new friend "D". Pray that he continues to search, pray that he continues to engage others in conversation.

You May Need To Sign A Waiver!

Okay…I know that you are tired of hearing about the social awareness conversion that happened to me when I began working at ACCESS Homeless Shelter. I won’t continue to bore you with how it changed my life and my views on poverty. (you can scroll down and read about it here…hee hee).

 I will share with you how grateful I am to see the same thing happen to other women and I believe the charge is being led by none other than Jen Hatmaker. I had the honor of receiving an advanced copy of the "Revised and Expanded" version of  Interrupted. I warn you…no…I dare you to read this book and try not to be changed. The book should come with a waiver that must be signed before the reader is allowed to purchase. The waiver would read…”This reader agrees not to totally walk away from her earthly possessions and embark on her life changing ways without at least giving her friends and family a two week notice." They have the option to go with her or disown her.

In this incredible book, Hatmaker allows you to accompany her on a journey that changed her view of the "least of these" and may wreck your's.

I love how Jen doesn't sugar coat the needs of this world but makes you feel "uncomfortable"...and that is good!  Her personal stories are real and moving and provide an excellent backdrop to support the book's main topics.

One of my favorite parts of the book was seeing Jen and her family live in community with others.  Their community didn't look like them. They were intentional about  immersing themselves in the world and not selecting a peer group that resembled them.  What a great reminder to us all.  We were put here to live with each other and to respect differences and embrace those that don't "look, live or worship" like us. 

The book moved me on so many levels and gave me many thoughts to stay awake over at night.  I encourage  you to step out on faith, kick fear to the curb and read this book.



Signing the waiver is optional!

Joy

 

Dream Big!!!

I am not exaggerating when I say that this could possibly be one of the most passion driven posts that I will write on this blog. Let me explain. As a child I was constantly amazed how creative my dad was. He was always writing stories, poems, short stories, etc. I loved hearing him speak at churches and enjoyed the humorous stories he used to teach Biblical truths. I also will never forget the numerous times he shared a big regret…he always wanted to write a book. As I reached adulthood, I realized that I had inherited my dad’s creativity and his passion for writing. It almost seemed that when he passed away, a little bit of himself remained on earth with me. I also realized that there was one thing that I did not want to inherit….his regret. Four years ago God began to place on my heart a burden for a book. I fought this desire out of fear. Each time I would begin to write I would shortly stop. Doubting thoughts would enter my head and I began to believe that this dream would never happen. I asked myself if the world really needed another book anyway. The strange thing about a dream is that if it is real and if it is from God…it can’t and won’t die. During this time of struggle, I began reading a blog written by a man named Ben Arment. He was not just a dreamer…but he was a big dreamer. He shared stories of big dreams that turned into big opportunities. I also noticed that he was vulnerable enough to share the obstacles and hurdles that a dreamer has to overcome. Ben not only wanted the reader to learn from his mistakes and successes but he was passionate about cultivating future dreamers. He had developed a one year coaching program for those that had a dream and were unsure of the next step. As if someone had guided my hand through the process, I applied to this program and was accepted. Not only was it affirmation of my dream, but it was affirmation of me…the dreamer. Through Ben’s guidance, prayer, emails, tweets, my book was published. I can honestly say…it would never have been completed if it weren’t for Dream Year and the principles of the program. The take away from the one year coaching far extends beyond the 153 page book I wrote. I have used Ben’s teaching in my personal and professional life. I now know the importance of making big asks. If I don’t ask…I assume I already know the answer. Amazing ministry opportunities have been possible…because I asked. Each time I step out of my comfort zone and “ask big” I am rarely told “no”. I have been blown away by how easy it is to see doors open when you kick fear to the side and embrace faith. I could go on and on about Dream Year but that is no longer needed. Why? Because now an opportunity is available for you to experience Dream Year and to learn how you can embrace your dream and live with passion. Ben has written a book and is coming to Cleveland on August 27th. The details are here. https://www.picatic.com/pitchnightcleveland I am asking you to do something…take a chance. Take a chance and join other dreamers at this event. What do you have to lose? The big question is….”what do you have to gain.”

Our Father’s Arms

Everyone loves a wedding…especially when the bride is your daughter. We have so many wonderful memories from that special day. Spending time with family and friends. Decorating with mason jars, tissue flowers and lights. Watching my three younger children “toast” their sister and new husband. (they actually used a toaster and made toast). The list could go on and on, but one of my favorite memories is that of the flower girl. Let me explain. At the rehearsal dinner, a cute and precious preschooler stole our hearts with her Hollywood sunglasses and fashionable outfit. She practiced her flower girl role with perfection and continued her cuteness at the dinner that followed. Several hours before the wedding, we received notice that the flower girl was not cooperating and refusing to wear her “itchy” dress. Our disappointment was soon replaced with the realization that she was a young child and all that we could do was “wait and see.” An hour later, we received an update that that the dress was on but mom was still unsure of her child’s cooperation. As I walked down the aisle to take my place, I did not know if the procession would include a flower girl or not. As I watched the attendants proceed down the aisle, I saw no sign of our darling flower girl. After a short pause, I saw the most adorable and precious sight…our flower girl. With a smile that melt the hearts of every guest, she fluttered down the aisle and paved the way for the bride. My first thought…what did it take to change her mind? Was it the promise of a toy, candy or some other token bribe? I suddenly turned and saw what was making it easy for her to walk down the aisle in front of hundreds of strangers…HER DADDY! Standing at the end of the aisle, knelt to her level and his arms opened wide was her father. Experiencing something that was once scary and uncomfortable for this child, now seemed safe and doable because of her dad. Her eyes were focused on the one that loved her deeply…and that is all that she saw. At the end of the aisle, this proud father, scooped up his precious daughter and held her tightly. He praised her for a job well done and never let her down. Some days, when life seems hard and impossible, I think about this little flower girl. She kept her eyes on the one that could get her through. We have that same father. His name is Jesus.

Give yourself away!

Well…it’s that time of year. The time of year when we seem to be a little more grateful, a little more thankful and a little more giving. But what happens when the calendar turns to the New Year and we return to old habits and routines? What is it about glittering lights and sleigh bells that makes us give? I spoke recently at a retreat about giving ourselves away. A gift to someone doesn’t have to be in a gift bag or box. The greatest gift we can give to another is US! Our time, our service, our words, our hugs etc.! I asked God what that would look like in my life and he reminded of a time when I gave something very easy, small and inexpensive away…a scarf. A simple scarf that I hardly ever wore. Let me explain. When I visit my mom in West Virginia, my mom always makes me feel special. One of the things that she does is she pays to have my dirty mom van cleaned. What a treat! We go to a small carwash that is owned my a sweet Greek woman. She makes “Bessie” (that is what I call my van with 190,000 miles) look brand new. One time, during the cleaning, she complimented ME on a scarf that she found hiding behind taco bell cups and candy wrappers. God prompted me to “give it away.” I did and you would have thought that I had given her a treasure. She raved and thanked me over and over again for a simple scarf. God reminded me of the blessings that I have in my life and also the abundance of material items that I don’t need. What if I intentionally tried to give myself away every day…and it included a scarf. So…starting tomorrow…I am wearing a scarf. My prayer is that God will put someone in my path that needs the scarf more than I do. Would you like to join me in this challenge? Would you like to start giving yourself away?

Letter To My Future Grandchild

To My future grandchild I will be the one that drops everything the moment I hear that you are about to make your entrance. I will be the one that will annoy everyone with the huge amounts of pictures of you that I will never stop sharing I will be the one that inhibits your walking ability by not allowing your little feet to touch the ground until you are 7. I will be the one that serves your ice cream for dinner when you come to visit I will be the one that reminds Pa Pa Wally that every nature hike should end at Dairy Queen I will be the one that sits on the front row of every recital, VBS performance and any other event that includes I will be the one that secures your domain name the moment I know your name. I will be the one that gives umpires dirty looks when they have been a bad call for your team. I will be the one that carries on the tradition of always having a cookie drawer and placing $20 in your hand each time I see you I will be the one that reminds you each day how handsome or beautiful you are I will be the one that reminds your mom that she was barely told the word no. I will be the one that will comfort you when your heart is broken and remind you that I really never liked him or her. I will be the one that will encourage you to dream crazy wild dreams and to ignore those that tell you it sounds crazy I will be the one that will prays for you and storms that gates of hell to protect you I will be the one that laughs when you laugh, cries when you cry and dreams when you dream. I will be the one that teaches you important garage sales skills I will be the one that will embarrass you with sappy texts I will be the one that convinces your parents to buy you a puppy I will be the one that constantly reminds you how awesome God is I will be the one that will always have mercy gifts for you at Christmas I will be the one that buys whatever you are selling in order for you to win the biggest prize I will be the one that cries the first time I have to tell you no and will probably say yes shortly after I will be the one that just watches you sleep for hours. Lastly… I will be the one that loves you…the way Jesus loves me.