I remember growing up in the neighborhood and how there was always a family that everyone felt sorry for. The mom was mentally unstable and it seemed that the children had to take care of themselves. They never played with the other neighborhood kids and were always seen as "different." One might even say that they were loners and primarily kept to themselves. What a terrible thing it must have been for them to be raised under these conditions. Possibly feeling neglected and isolated. As the children became teens and young adults it seemed that they found acceptance in diverse groups and made choices that were reckless and dangerous.
Fast forward 25 years....
After making numerous visits to my dad's bedside this week, my mom realizes that one of the children from this family is in the room five doors down from my dad. The son, lying in ICU, suffering from AIDS. Something inside of me felt like we should go in and visit with him. An inner struggle began to take place. Why should I go I asked myself? He won't rememeber us...we could just keep walking by like we have been doing so far. Possibly the embarassment of not reaching out to him in all of our years growing up sunk in. How does one walk into his room and suddenly care about him? God was now prompting me again to face the brokenness in someone. God was leading me to put aside my fear, pride, shame...and just go.
As we walked towards his room I was already rehearsing what we would say. We would be nice and re-introduce ourselves to him and before we left...offer to pray. As we entered his room...he smiled...and said that he remembered us. After a few moments of small talk I asked if we could pray for him. He immediately said yes. My next thought is one that I am very ashamed of. I have heard many talks on AIDS and I am very familiar with how it is contracted and shared. I know that it is not spread through hand to hand contact...but in my selfish mind I thought to myself...do not touch me. You see...I have been stretched by God to "look" upon brokenness...but to touch it...no...not yet not now. Before I could bow my head and close my eyes...I felt a grip on my hand. He grabbed mine without even asking...it seemed to be natural to him...and now...it felt natural to me. I prayed for him and held hands with him. After we prayed we had a very brief conversation about Jesus and he shared with us about his faith in Christ.
I left the room wondering if he often feels lonely because of our ignorance to his disease. I doubt it! It seems that even though he is probably often judged by his past mistakes and choices...he really ministered to us. We walked into his room expecting to do him a favor by our visit and our prayers...but he actually did us a favor. He reached out to us...he showed us that God continues to use us in spite of our brokenness, our ignorance and our pride. He helped to break down a barrier that is often there between AIDS patients and us. We often give to their cause and will even wear a badge or walk in a walk-a-thon...but when do we ever stop and just touch them. Let them know that the only difference between us and them...is possibly a bad decision. We all have brokenness in our lives!
No comments:
Post a Comment