Chapter Three …Sample

I love speaking at women’s events. I love hanging out with women of all ages. I enjoy those who are on Twitter and those that are on Medicaid. I enjoy those who are on Facebook and those that are getting facelifts. You get the picture! I especially look forward to speaking at retreats. Two or more days of women acting like they haven’t been away in years and escaping for a time of fellowship, food and fun. It is almost inevitable that each session begins with an icebreaker. OK…confession time…I am not a fan of icebreakers. Please don’t ask me to find someone else that has blue eyes was once a cheerleader or dreamed as a teen that they would marry Donny Osmond. I had to throw the last one in as a tribute to all of us that remember his purple socks and can still sing all the lyrics to “Puppy Love.” I find it awkward walking around trying to guess the name of the person that someone has taped to their back. But…if we have to do an icebreaker, there is one that I can sometimes enjoy…the purse scavenger hunt. You know the one…there is a list of items and you try to see how many you can find in your purse. I almost always win. In fact I already assume that this game will take place so I begin to fill my purse before the retreat begins with odd items. Oh yes…if I am going to be forced to play…I will win. You can tell a lot about a woman by what she carries in her purse. If she has diapers and sippy cups she is probably a mother of an infant or toddler. If her purse contains 100 calorie snack packs, she is probably on a diet. Last but not least, if her purse contains a battery operated fan and an ice pack, she is probably enjoying the pains of menopause! Yes…you can tell a lot about a woman by what she has in her purse, including myself. In fact my purse tells a lot about whom I am and who I am not. If you looked in my purse you would learn that I am a fake, phony and a fraud. My purse does not support who people think that I am. OUCH! That is hard to even think, admit and type. How can I talk about being authentic if I am not willing to be transparent myself? As I prayed about this chapter I had mixed feelings. I asked myself if it was really necessary for me to blow my cover. It is necessary for people to know so much about me. The answer to both was yes! Let’s break this down. First there is the driver’s license. I know many of us tend to take liberties with our personal information at the DMV. Why not? They don’t make you step on a scale. What harm is there, I mean it’s not like it’s against the law or anything. You can add me to that group of people who justify their lying. Why? I hate the struggle that I have with my weight. For me to be honest about my true weight would mean that I would have to acknowledge the number. I am not the weight on my license. …(cont)